Lessons From The Jersey Shore Part II – Successful Men and Taking the Gloves Off


This past weekend I had the opportunity to travel to Sea Girt, NJ, smack-dab in the middle of the Jersey Shore to take part in a closed-door, intensive business mastermind with some of the best upcoming fitness professionals. This was a mastermind built out of the HTKA Seminar I attended last October.

In addition to learning more from my mentors and networking with other fitness pros, the true draw of a mastermind is the hour we each had in the “hot seat”. The hot seat time is where the entire group was focused on a single member’s business. We focused on the successes that were working, what wasn’t working, where the business was headed, and developing an action plan for that person.

Since this was a closed-door event, I’m not going to get into the specifics of the individuals’ cases, but let’s just say that it was no-holds-barred, honest (brutally at times), and focused on advancing each individual’s success. It was definitely NOT focused on keeping their feelings warm and fuzzy.

This was followed each night by “networking”, which is code for going out for dinner, beers, and scaring little girls at tanning salons (more on that in a few days).

It's a good thing there was no Panic Button behind the desk or the poor little girl behind the counter would have had us all arrested!

It was a smashing success. I learned a lot and got to know some great guys a lot better. Throughout the whole thing there were a couple of things that really stood out for me:

First of all, successful guys surround themselves with the right people.

If you want to be successful then you need to surround yourself with people who are like-minded. There can’t be any room in your life for people that are moving in a contrary direction to your success. I know you hear this regularly and I’ve even said it. “Surround yourself with successful people and you’ll be successful” or “You are the sum of your five closest friends” are some common phrases that you hear from the Think Positive crowd. Those things are absolutely true and I stand by them. But there’s more.

Like I said, everyone says this stuff and it makes sense. However, I don’t think that most of you are really getting it. You’re hearing it, but you’re not listening to it. So, in the words of my mentors, it’s time to fuck you up with some truth.

99% of the guys in this world WILL NOT be as successful as they talk about being. They will however, be as successful as they are willing to be, and there’s a difference. As a result, most of them will end up living a decent enough life.


-Graduate from high school
-Finish college or whatever additional training they need
-Get a job
-Get a mortgage
-Get an old lady
-Have a kid or two
-Work their way along
-Take yearly vacation
-Golf, bowl, watch (not play) football
-Get a new snowblower or lawnmower every few years to be the Big Shot on the Cul-de-Sac
-Retire to some warm place to drive poorly and wear a dent in the seat of a golf cart

Sound like anyone you know? I suspect it sounds like pretty much EVERYONE you know.

Man, how bad is that? It doesn’t sound like too raw a deal. I mean, it’s not like they’re chained to a wall in a salt mine, fighting with dogs over scraps of food and all that. Things could be worse.

They could be better, too. You know what’s missing there? Passion. Hustle. Drive.

The “standard” is not a bad life. It’s a life built largely on not fucking up. If your goal is to “not fuck up”, then that’s cool. But you’re probably not going to really rock your life. You probably aren’t going to be living your passion. You aren’t going to be maximizing your experiences. To me that seems pretty empty. To be pretty honest, and I’m going to be a dick here, to me it says:

“I’m too WEAK to go for what I really want.”

I love what I do. My life is built on loving the hell out of how I spend my time. Not spending my time now hoping that someday I’ll love my life.

A lot of people wonder how I can do enjoy myself so much and always keep driving, and a big part of the difference in my life and theirs is that I choose to spend my time around people who think like I do. They may be very different people. They may do very different things than I do. They may have very different goals and passions than I do. But what they all have is a burning desire to rock the hell out of what they do. They don’t pussy-foot around and handle life with trepidation. Instead they decide what they want to do, take the gloves off, and make it happen. They focus me and hold me accountable, and in turn I do the same for them.

Right now you’re saying that sounds all well and good, but I must have some “industry secret” or “backstage pass” to find these guys. You don’t know anyone like that and so you’re stuck. Bullshit. That’s an excuse. I found all of my mentors and supporters by going out and looking for them. Take the gloves off and go find them. Find the industry leaders and the go-getters in your field or your passion. Find people you look up to and are doing the things you dream about. Reach out to them with a giving hand. Offer to help them find more success and in turn they will help you. Will it take some hustle on your part? Sure thing. Welcome to the game, son.

Take the gloves off and start living your life on YOUR terms and find those that will support you in doing it. This blog and my life is pretty full so there’s only room for the 1% that want to live their life by their own terms NOT those who are content with “ok” or “pretty good”. If that’s you: The 99% who aren’t willing to do what they NEED to do in order change their lives, then you need to go find somewhere else to be. I’m sure there’s plenty of supportive, loving, and caring sites out there for you to get a hug with your daily affirmation.

But if you’re too good for living someone else’s life and are ready to prove it then welcome to the team.

Comment below with your passion and how you’re chasing it!

Comments on Lessons From The Jersey Shore Part II – Successful Men and Taking the Gloves Off Leave a Comment

January 25, 2011

pete @ 6:17 pm #

hahaah first off. that girl def wished there was a panic button and there wasn’t. Its true with the 95% of the decent life livers, but they will never tap into the full potential taht they may have. And if they are fine with that then “Kudos” but I know you ans well as everyone in that room wants more! not just to be average to be above average and beyond.
The people you surround yourself with is the most important thing. I use to hang out with scumbags and I was turning into a scumbag and not even realizing it. Was it fun? HELL YEAH!
but was it me…nope it was just me living out my commuting college days.
So now I surround myself around the internet or calls or email with people like you and everyone in the room this weekend. SUCCESSFUL DREAMERS and GO getters.
it was cool hanging and networking with ya this weekend. Last time I didnt get to hang with you til the last day and by that time…well my camera will tell the story…but I would like to say it was a pleasure and if you need anything give a brotha a call and i’ll be there.
Be easy man and GFGI 4 LIFE

Isaac @ 6:34 pm #

For real, Pete. Good to spend some real time with you this weekend, too.

And you’re right about that girl wishing there was a button. I bet she put in a request to management yesterday!

Pete’s the real deal, guys. Check out his link. He speaks from the heart and he’s somebody that makes things happen. When I write about people who you need to surround yourself with, Pete’s one of them!

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